Welcome Shambles fans to another rollercoaster season.

First up a new team to Division 2, Upton Glass. harking back to the Days of ‘Jossie’s Giants’ in their white with green hoops, what dangers would they hold for The Shambles.

In the warm up their goalie looks slightly awkward and their shots wayward. Perhaps a cunning subterfuge?

The new boys have to endure their ‘New Boy ‘ rules chat from Graham the Ref. Don’t worry boys if you forget the rules, so will Graham after a few games! Who said that??

I had given the boys their team chat, 2-1-1 formation, Worst & Jethro at the back, Will.I.Am in midfield, and Blink the annual winner of the team ‘Golden Boot’ up front.

Straight away, and as per usual, a different line up started. Blink apparently putting himself on the bench. The best striker, WHY?

Also HRH got a new midfield position. Another position he could fail to remain in !!

We’re off.

HRH takes a nervous touch, unaccustomed as he is to receiving the ball in defence.

Quickly the first chance arrives for The Shambles as Will has a shot saved. A good Jethro through ball led to this chance.

Another Shambles effort.

Suddenly the ball drifts out of Upton Glass’ area , a ‘Yellow pages’ moment ,as it is quickly followed by the GK letting his fingers do the walking out of the area to claw the ball back.

Graham, apparently having already warned him twice, had no hesitation in blowing his whistle and pointing to the spot.

Blink had made it on to the pitch by now and placed the ball on the spot.

He takes the obligatory step and nonchalantly strokes it into the net…..1-0. He raises the finger in the air, in a muted, but “how cool was that” style.

Will.I.Am goes down like a girl and quickly gets hit by a Blink effort. Ouch

Another Will.I.Am effort saved.

The Shambles were holding a 2-1-1 formation and looking good.

Will.I.Am provides a nice pass, Blink hit’s the post.

Never fear Flash is now here. He picks up the ball in midfield….nice move…he starts moving……promising, nice footwork….pass it now Dave….what’s he doing?? Like a toddler chasing his first football, he continues running towards the wall, eyes fixed….no one else can touch my ball…maybe for a Wispa Gold though…ooo-er.

Flash is caught in possession but gets a dubious free-kick from the ref.

Will.I.Am has another shot saved.

Then the goal of the game, and already a candidate for Champagne moment. The ball came out of the oppo goal mouth to Jethro lurking a little way out. Like an old crooner he gently stroked his leg toward the ball and placed a sublime effort into the goal….2-0.

This was followed by Number 1 son hitting the net again 3-0.

The new boys were just guilty of being new to this type of game. Trying to play clinical football, but getting caught in possession was order of the day.

At this point, The Shambles decided to lose the plot a little as they lost shape.

Upton Glass capitalised and played some neat moves to pull one back…..3-1.…half-time.

The second half, and The Shambles quickly increase their lead but the final touch is a disputed one. Flash originally confessed it was an own goal.

However, after talk of others goals, he soon started to ask anyone who would listen if he’d got a touch. After a remorseless verbal inquisition of the opposing defender post match in the bar, Flash finally made him crack and say he saw Flash touch it. Outrageous campaigning to try and get the Golden boot.

Flash, it’s a while since you could see your feet I know, but to disown the goal and then claim it beggars belief. That one must be sent to the disputed goal panel…oh, that’ll be me….OWN GOAL!…..4-1.

Feeling left out, and no doubt about to unleash a fearsome moan, HRH appeared to score another…..5-1.

Undaunted, Upton Glass struck again …5-2.

A good Worst lay off gave Blink another opportunity but it was not converted.

Flash then scored a legitimate goal after a deceiving the defender and placing the ball in the net. Good goal….6-3.

Will.I.Am and Flash initiated a good combo move but no goal resulted.

Will.I.Am after a quiet spell then put a fine through ball to HRH, whose position was now his usual anywhere on the pitch. GOAL……7-2.

Finally a good Blink pass to the ever wandering HRH…..8-2.. a Facebook posting soon followed from the football Bedouin …trumpet…blowing

A good performance from The Shambles which could, and should, have resulted in more goals. An iffy moment or two which they will work on tightening up against more experienced sides.

Don’t be disheartened Upton Glass, you showed promise and I’m sure the wins will come one you are up to speed. Well played..