Location: Worcester

A local man Dave Hinett has made claims of superhuman "blinding pace".

Having interviewed some of his colleagues, it became apparentt that a mystery needed investigation.

None of his colleagues are able to recall seeing this speed, so either his pace is that blinding that no one can see him move, or it does not exist.

I have carried out my own undercover surveillance, and have to admit someone would have more chance of finding Atlantis. I have seen Treacle flow down the side of an industrial freezer faster.

In an attempt to obtain evidence, I am putting out an APB to all Perdiswell League players to report any sightings. Good luck, you'll need it.